The below poem was written during a very difficult time when my stress level at work was on overload! I also learned that I had thyroid disease, which caused my hair to start falling out! (Talk about adding anxiety to the mix of issues!) My short term memory was so foggy that I could toggle from one screen to the next on my computer at work and literally forget what I was looking for by the time I landed on the next screen. I thought I was losing my mind! I was also diagnosed with pneumonia, the Epstein Barr virus and a bacteria was found in my stomach that was wrecking havoc on my digestive system. I was so tired, my body felt like it weighed 1000 pounds! I wasn’t sleeping and was literally running on empty! I wanted to quit my job because the stress was taking such a toll on my health. My heart longed to pursue a writing career. But, I felt trapped and strapped to the income my job provided for our family. This poem was born out of all these circumstances.
God’s Will
Worry and anxiety all around.
Pace too fast, gotta slow down.
Feeling trapped and all alone,
Wishing I could just stay home!
So much to offer, so much to give.
Finally learning how to live.
Dreams tucked away inside my heart,
Now brought to life, out of the dark!
With pen in hand, I’ll use to write
A different ending to my life.
No more stressful, chaotic scenes
Just God’s peaceful, calm, tranquility.
Opening my heart to hear His voice
Quieter still…the Believer’s choice.
And again I will rejoice,
As God’s will for me is found.
I’ve since, made some significant changes in my responsibilities at work. I hired an assistant! (Meghan, I thank God for you everyday!) I finally realized that I couldn’t do it all by myself anymore and that asking for help was not an admission of failure. You CAN finally get to the point where you are spread so thin, that you can’t do anything well. This act alone ( asking for help) was something I was Not used to doing, but it has allowed me to reduce the daily stress I was under. My health issues are under better control and my life is reasonably “sane” again. There is much to “rejoice” over. Thank you Jesus!
